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拉札洛夫人

文章發表於 : 2003-08-26,11:15 pm
kama
[拉札洛夫人]
--Sylvia Plath

我又犯了。
十年裡總有一年
我操弄著它----

彷彿某種神蹟,我的肌膚
明亮如納粹的招牌燈箱,
我的右腳

是紙鎮,
我的臉沒有五官,是精緻的
猶太亞麻裹尸布。

扯下餐巾
噢我的敵人。
嚇倒我了嗎?----

那鼻子、那眼框、那整齊的一口牙?
那酸酸的氣息
將在一天內消失。

很快地,很快地那肉身
那被墓穴吞噬的肉身將會
到家裡附在我身上

而我是個微笑的女人。
我不過才三十歲。
而我像一隻九條命的貓。

這是第三個年關
怎麼有這麼多垃圾
每隔十年就得銷毀一次。

如點了幾百萬燭光的燈泡。
嚼花生米的觀眾
全都擁進來瞧

他們扒開我的手腳----
好一場脫衣舞。
各位先生、女士

這是我的雙手
我的雙膝
或許我會被剝皮拆骨,

然而,我仍是我,同一個女人。
第一次發生時我才十歲。
那是場意外。

第二次我是認真的
要幹就幹到底再也不回來了。
我敲碎了殼

如一海貝。
他們得千呼萬喚
從我裡面掏出蟲如掏出緊黏的珍珠

死亡
是藝術,跟其他藝術一樣是藝術。
而我特別擅長死亡。

我死故我富有地獄感
我死故我彷彿存在
我想你可以說這是我的使命。

要幹很容易在斗室裡就可以
要幹很容易幹完若無其事也可以
這是戲劇性的

在大白天從鬼門關回來
回到同樣的地點、面對同樣的面孔、同樣的粗暴
愉悅的咆哮:

「真是奇蹟!」
我真被他們打敗了。
要付錢的

想要看我的傷疤,要付錢的
想要聽我的心跳----
它確實還在跳。

要付錢的,要付一大筆錢
換一句話或摸一下
或滴一滴血

或一束我的頭髮或穿過的衣物。
怎樣,怎樣,醫師先生。
怎樣,敵人先生。

我是你的傑作,
我是你的寶貝,
純金的心肝寶貝。

熔化成一聲尖叫。
我燃燒翻滾。
別認為我低估了你最大的私心。

骨灰,骨灰---
你又翻又攪。
血肉、骨骸,什麼都沒了----

化為一塊肥皂,
一枚結婚戒指,
一顆金牙。

上帝先生,魔鬼先生
給我當心點
當心點。

從灰燼裡
我披散紅髮起身
服食男人如吐納空氣。

[譯註]Lazarus為《新約.約翰福音》中的人物,死後四天耶穌讓他復活。

[Lady Lazarus]

I have done it again.
One year in every ten
I manage it ----

A sort of walking miracle, my skin
Bright as a Nazi lampshade,
My right foot

A paperweight,
My face a featureless, fine
Jew linen.

Peel off the napkin
O my enemy.
Do I terrify? ----

The nose, the eye pits, the full set of teeth?
The sour breath
Will vanish in a day.

Soon, soon the flesh
The grave cave ate will be
At home on me

And I a smiling woman.
I am only thirty.
And like the cat I have nine times to die.

This is Number Three.
What a trash
To annihilate each decade.

What a million filaments.
The peanut-crunching crowd
Shoves in to see

Them unwrap me hand and foot ----
The big strip tease.
Gentleman, ladies

These are my hands
My knees.
I may be skin and bone,

Nevertheless, I am the same, identical woman.
The first time it happened I was ten.
It was an accident.

The second time I meant
To last it out and not come back at all.
I rocked shut

As a seashell.
They had to call and call
And pick the worms off me like sticky pearls.

Dying
Is an art, like everything else.
I do it exceptionally well.

I do it so it feels like hell.
I do it so it feels real.
I guess you could say I've a call.

It's easy enough to do it in a cell.
It's easy enough to do it and stay put.
It's the theatrical

Comeback in broad day
To the same place, the same face, the same brute
Amused shout:

'A miracle!'
That knocks me out.
There is a charge

For the eyeing my scars, there is a charge
For the hearing of my heart ---
It really goes.

And there is a charge, a very large charge
For a word or a touch
Or a bit of blood

Or a piece of my hair or my clothes.
So, so, Herr Doktor.
So, Herr Enemy.

I am your opus,
I am your valuable,
The pure gold baby

That melts to a shriek.
I turn and burn.
Do not think I underestimate your great concern.

Ash, ash ---
You poke and stir.
Flesh, bone, there is nothing there ----

A cake of soap,
A wedding ring,
A gold filling.

Herr God, Herr Lucifer
Beware
Beware.

Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.

-October 23-29, 1962