我第一次接觸到印尼詩歌是在台北的印尼看護工書寫的作品,這緣自於2001年起台北市政府勞工局很有前瞻性地舉辦了「第一屆外籍勞工詩文比賽」(至今陸續舉辦了五屆),獲選的作品以原文和中譯對照的方式製成海報,張貼在台北捷運車廂中。
這段期間台北市的街頭出現許多菲律賓的家庭幫傭、印尼的看護工、泰國的勞工。就在我家住的公寓的樓下,就在我家的巷子裡,黃昏時清潔車收垃圾時,三五成群的東南亞女子在巷口聊天,拿著一袋袋垃圾等待清潔車。晚上便利商店外的公共電話前,總是站著打電話回故鄉的外勞弟兄姊妹,我從旁走過,耳際迴響著一串串異國的語言。週末假日,台北火車站旁聚集了大量的外籍勞工,火車站裡的商店街也開設了許多印尼、菲律賓的食品雜貨店,店門口擺著販賣東南亞各國的雜誌週刊、音樂CD、電影VCD的貨架。然而我們這些台北人似乎對此視而不見、充耳不聞。
某次週末下午,我在台北規模最大的「誠品書店」的閒逛,走進展覽廳見到投影機在白牆反覆撥放著一段紀錄片:一位印尼看護工在為半身不遂的老先生洗澡。我赫然意識到許多東南亞勞工在默默工作,照顧我們的老人與小孩,幫我們建設捷運與建築……而我們非旦沒有付出心力去理解對方的文化,反而充滿了懷疑與歧視,等而下之者更有剝削與壓榨的情形。
縱然書店裡充斥著東南亞旅遊的導遊書,推銷著泰國普吉島、印尼巴厘島的異國風情,但我只看到當地綺麗的風景、豐富的物產;就像我在中國古代的文獻中那樣,只看到充滿奇趣的地名、風俗、物產,令我眼花撩亂,卻驀然意識到一個嚴重的問題,沒有「人」。以「紀傳體」為特徵的中國史學傳統,在處理西域南海的國度時,除了少數幾位帝王外(如扶南、真臘的少數幾位國王),幾乎沒有介紹任何「人物」。我發覺我過去追求的東南亞知識是平板的、荒寒的,因為我沒有勇氣去學習東南亞的語言,沒有拿出同情心去認識住在我家樓下的印尼看護工,我在欣賞英美詩歌之美時,絲毫沒有想過要探索印尼的詩歌。
以此為契機,我拜訪了台北市勞工局的外勞諮詢中心,接觸到相關的資訊,才發覺台北已經有因業界需求而產生的印尼語補習班。於是我決定跨出這一步,開始學習印尼語,並在圖書館找資料,「遇見」了Chairil Anwar的詩集的原文與英譯的對照本。
[墓碑]
獻給祖父
並非死亡真的刺痛我心
而是因為您情願其降臨
我莫測其高,在死亡的塵土
與悲傷之上,您登極。
[NISAN]
--Chairil Anwar(1922-1949)
Untuk nenekanda
Bukan kematian benar menusuk kalbu
Keridlaanmu menerima segala tiba
Tak kutahu setinggi itu atas debu
Dan duka maha tuan bertachta.
1942.10.
[Gravestone]
--translated byBurton Raffel
for my Grandfather
It's not death, no, that stabs at my heart
But your willingness to go.
Nor do I know how high
You are, now, supreme over dust, over sorrow.
.Burton Raffel, ed. & trans., The Complete Poetry and Prose of Chairil Anwar,
Albany : State University of New York Press, 1970, pp. 2-3.
[我]
假如我的時辰到了
「我絕不要任何人」來哄勸
就連妳也一樣
不需要那些哽咽抽噎聲
我就是這野獸
被群體拋棄
任子彈穿過我的肌膚
也要持續憤怒襲擊
我將帶著傷口與毒膿奔逃
奔逃
直到失去痛的感覺
而我將不會在乎任何事情
我要再活他個一千年
[Aku]
--Chairil Anwar(1922-1949)
Kalau sampai waktuku
'Ku mau tak seorang 'kan merayu
Tidak juga kau
Tak perlu sedu sedan itu
Aku ini binatang jalang
Dari kumpulannya terbuang
Biar peluru menembus kulitku
Aku tetap meradang menerjang
Luka dan bisa kubawa berlari
Berlari
Hingga hilang pedih peri
Dan aku akan lebih tidak perduli
Aku mau hidup seribu tahun lagi
1943.3.
[I]
--translated by Urip Hudiono
If my time should come
I'd like no one to entice me
Not even you
No need for those sobs and cries
I am but a wild animal
Cut from its kind
Though bullets should pierce my skin
I shall still strike and march forth
Wounds and poison shall I take aflee
Aflee
Til the pain and pang should dissapear
And I should care even less
I want to live for another thousand years
引自:http://www.muurgedichten.nl/anwar.html
[遭劫的人與逃脫者]
黑暗中一陣風滌淨了我自己,
我卻還在顫抖只因朝思暮想的妳在房內,
夜漸漸坍塌下來,使叢林立槁如碑柱。
在卡列墓園,在卡列墓園(亦是我的去處),風仍在怒吼
我收拾好房內與我的心裡,如果妳會來的話
我還要為妳開展一段新的故事
但唯有我的手兀自乒乒乓乓地行動著。
我的身軀沉靜又孤單,曾發生的傳說與事件都凍結了。
註釋:
*這首詩曾以另外兩個題目發表: JANG TERAMPAS DAN JANG PUTUS(被劫掠與破壞的) 以及BUAT MIRAT(獻給米拉),這可能是基於撰稿費的因素.
[JANG TERAMPAS DAN JANG LUPUT]
--Chairil Anwar (1922-1949)
Kelam dan angina lalu mempesiang diriku,
Menggigir djuga ruang dimana dia jang kuingin,
Malam tambah merusak, rimba djadi semati tugu.
di Karet, di Karet (daerahku j.a.d.) sampai djuga deru angin
aku berbenah dalam kamar, dalam diriku djika kau datang
dan aku bias lagi lepaskan kisah baru padamu;
tapi hanja tangan jang bergerak lantang.
Tubuhku diam dan sendiri, tjerita dan peristiwa berlaku beku.
1949
[Some are Plundered, Some Escape]
--translated by Burton Raffel
Darkness and a passing wind purify me.
I shiver, and so does the great room where the one I want is lying.
Night squeezes down, jungle trees freeze like columns of stone.
At Karet, at Karet (where I go next), the cold wind moans too.
I'm tidying my room, and my heart, in case you come
And I can set free a new story for you.
But now it's only my hands that move fiercely.
My body is still, alone. The story, whatever can happen: all stiff, icy.
.Burton Raffel, ed. & trans., The Complete Poetry and Prose of Chairil Anwar, Albany : State University of New York Press, 1970, pp. 151.
[蒂博尼哥羅]
值此建國大業
閣下又重生
死灰驚復燃
閣下趨前翹首盼
不怕敵人百倍多
右手軍刀左匕首
身披綬帶靈魂不死
衝啊!
此乃不擊鼓的隊伍
以攻擊彰顯信仰
一朝赴義
身已死
衝啊!
為國家
燃戰火
毋寧絕嗣不為奴
被迫忍辱寧滅亡
何況更狠之殘害一到
苟活亦難逃
衝啊!
攻擊!
衝鋒!
殺呀!
[Diponegoro]
--Chairil Anwar (1922-1945)
Dimana pembangunan ini
tuan hidup kembali
Dan bara kagum mendjadi api
Didepan sekali tuan menanti
Tak gentar. Lawan banjaknja seratus kali.
Pedang dikanan, keris dikiri
Berselempang semangat jang tak bisa mati.
MAJU
Ini barisan tak bergenderang-berpalu
Kepertjayaan tanda menyerbu.
Sekali berarti
Sudah itu mati.
MAJU
Bagimu Negeri
Menyediakan api.
Punah diatas menghamba
Binasa diatas ditindas
Sesungguhnya dalam ajal baru tertjapai
Djika hidup harus merasai
Maju
Serbu
Serang
Terjang
1943.2.
[Diponegoro]
--translated by Burton Raffel
In this time of building, forging
You live again
And astonished embers burn
You're waiting far ahead
Fearless. A hundred hundred enemies.
Your right hand has a sword, your left hand has a dagger
And your soul has what can never die
Forward
These soldiers beat no drums
They show their faith by attacking
To mean something, once
Then death
Forward
For your country
You lit a fire
Better destruction than slavery
Better extermination than oppression
It may come after our death
But life has to be life
Forward.
Attack.
Charge.
Strike.
.Burton Raffel, ed. & trans., The Complete Poetry and Prose of Chairil Anwar, Albany : State University of New York Press, 1970, pp.6-9 .
[你的嘴唇](原詩無題)
你的嘴抿著我的唇
那一瞬間憎恨沸騰
你用這樣細膩的痛傷害我
我為何不把你掐死算了?
Mulutmu mentjubit dimulutku
Menggelegak bentji sedjenak itu
Mengapa merihmu tak kutjekik pula
Ketika halus-perih kau meluka??
1943.7.
[Your Mouth](title supplied)
Your mouth was nibbling at mine.
At that moment hatred boiled up in me.
Why didn't I strangle you
While you were gently hurting me?
.Burton Raffel, ed. & trans., The Complete Poetry and Prose of Chairil Anwar, Albany : State University of New York Press, 1970, pp.56-7 .
[1943]
喝第一口就知道有毒
猶如肺潰爛在胸中
血沉澱在膿裡
夜晚昏昏黑黑影影綽綽
這條路又硬又直。用罄了
嗎啡。
垮掉
我的手承受折斷
粉碎
沉沒
失蹤
癱瘓
聒聒落地
挺直站立
頹然倒地
塌陷
虎嘯、雷震
迎上前、鼎鑊燒
黃
紅
黑
乾旱
虛脫
平陸
平陸
平陸
普天之下
你
我
已被釘死。
[1943]
Ratjun derada direguk pertama
Membusuk rabu terasa didada
Tenggelam darah dalam nanah
Malam kelam-membelam
Djalan kaku-lurus. Putus
Tjandu.
Tumbang
Tanganku menadah patah
Luluh
Terbenam
Hilang
Lumpuh.
Lahir
Tegak
Berderak
Rubuh
Runtuh
Mengaum. Mengguruh
Menentang. Menjerang
Kuning
Merah
Hitam
Kering
Tandas
Rata
Rata
Rata
Dunia
Kau
Aku
Terpaku.
[1943]
There's poison in the first slug of it
It stinks as it goes into you
Blood drowning in pus
The evening pitch-black
The roads stiff-straight. The opium
Used up.
Collapsing
My hands catch brokenly
Smashed
Drowned
Lost
Paralyzed.
I am born
Stand
Creak
Fall
In a heap
Roaring. Thundering
Challenging. Attacking
Yellow
Red
Black
Arid
Exhausted
Flat
Flat
Flat
Is the world
You
And me
Nailed down.
.Burton Raffel, ed. & trans., The Complete Poetry and Prose of Chairil Anwar, Albany : State University of New York Press, 1970, pp.66-67 .
[山中之夜]
我在想:莫非是月光發寒
使屋宇蒼白、樹林僵直?
此時我真的非常想一解疑惑:
啊,有小孩在跟影子們玩捉迷藏!
[MALAM DI PEGUNUNGAN]
Aku berpikir: Bulan inikah jang membikin dingin,
Djadi putjat rumah dan kaku pohonan?
Sekali ini aku terlalu sangat dapat djawab kepingin:
Eh, ada botjah tjilik main kedjaran dengan bajangan!
1947
[EVENING IN THE MOUNTAINS]
I think: is it the moon that's freezing everything,
Turning the houses white, stiffening the trees?
This time I really, really want an answer:
Hah—little boys are playing tag in the shadows!
.Burton Raffel, ed. & trans., The Complete Poetry and Prose of Chairil Anwar, Albany : State University of New York Press, 1970, pp.122-3 .
[耐心]
我不能睡
人言紛紛、狗在吠
世界撒向遠方
石牆圍攏住黑
外面的聲音不斷敲擊
另一端是火與灰
我有話要說
我的聲音失蹤、體力蒸發
罷了!不管怎樣
這世界不聞不問,不理睬我
河水凍成堅冰
生活也不再是生活
我又像以前那個樣子
一邊摀住耳朵,一邊蒙上眼珠
期待著那終將到來的綏靖
[Kesabaran]
Aku tak bias tidur
Orang ngomong, andjing nggonggong
Dunia djauh mengabur
Kelam mendinding batu
Dihantam suara bertalu-talu
Disebelahnja api dan abu
Aku hendak bitjara
Suaraku hilang, tenaga terbang
Sudah! Tidak djadi apa-apa!
Ini dunia enggan disapa, ambil perduli
Keras membeku air kali
Dan hidup bukan hidup lagi
Kuulangi jang dulu kembali
Sambil bertutup telinga, berpitjing mata
Menunggu reda jang mesti tiba
[Patience]
I can't sleep.
People chatter, dogs bark
The world blurs into the distance
Darkness walled in by stone
Voices batter from one side
Fire and dust from the other
I want to speak
My voice disappears, my strength fades away
Enough! It doesn't matter!
The world refuses to acknowledge me, I don't care
River water turns to ice
And life is life no longer
I do again what I did before
Cover my ears, my eyes
Waiting for the calm that has to come.
.Burton Raffel, ed. & trans., The Complete Poetry and Prose of Chairil Anwar, Albany : State University of New York Press, 1970, pp. 32.
[生活]
無底的海
不斷地猛烈拍擊
考驗我們的圩堤是否堅強
不斷地猛烈拍擊
直到破壞粉碎一切
那一小片
恩賜的幸福
白呵護了、白栽培了
[Penghidupan]
Lautan maha dalam
mukul dentur selama
ngudji tenaga pematang kita
mukul denture selama
hingga hantjur remuk redam
Kurnia Bahagia
ketjil setumpuk
sia-sia dilindung, sia-sia dipupuk.
1942.12
[Life]
The bottomless ocean
Is always banging
Testing the strength of our dikes
Always banging
Until it smashes to bits
The blessing of Happiness
A little heap
Cultivated, watched over
In vain
.Burton Raffel, ed. & trans., The Complete Poetry and Prose of Chairil Anwar, Albany : State University of New York Press, 1970, pp. 4.
[空虛]
上次你來
帶了花
紅薔薇、白茉莉,
血腥與聖潔,
把它們灑在我面前
「給你的」,以一種奇妙的神情
我們愣住了
彼此互問:這是幹嘛?
示愛?我倆都不明白。
那天我們在一起。
誰也沒貼近誰。
啊!我的心不願被
你這個壞人的寂寞撕個粉碎!
[Sia-Sia]
Penghabisan kali itu kau datang
membawa karangan kembang
Mawar merah dan melati putih:
darah dan sutji.
Kau tebarkan depanku
serta pandang jang memastikan: Untukmu.
Sudah itu kita sama termangu
Saling bertanja: Apakah ini?
Tjinta? Keduanja tak mengerti.
Sehari itu kita bersama. Tak hampir-menghampiri.
Ah! Hatiku jang tak mau memberi
Mampus kau dikojak-kojak sepi.
1943.02
[In Vain]
The last time you came
You brought flowers.
Red roses, white jasmine,
Blood and holiness,
And spread them in front of me
With a wondering look: for you.
We were stunned
And asked each other: what't this?
Love? Neither of us understood.
That day we were together.
We did not touch.
But oh my heart that will not give itself
Break, you bastard, ripped by your loneliness!
.Burton Raffel, ed. & trans., The Complete Poetry and Prose of Chairil Anwar, Albany : State University of New York Press, 1970, pp. 10.
[相約]
艾妲,
陽光已經穿透
空中的濃霧,
生苔發黑的鏡子
如今破碎四散。
在這洞開的寬敞大廳
讓我倆再度快樂地
回到十七歲
一同肩併肩騎著單車
取道此徑
快樂又幸福
不在乎任何事情
歡欣鼓舞
下雨吧
任我倆淋得一身濕
反正一會兒就會乾了
[Adjakan]
Ida
Menembus sudah tjaja
Udara tebal kabut
Katja hitam lumut
Petjah-pentjar sekarang
Diruang legah lapang
Mari ria lagi
Tudjuh belas tahun kembali
Bersepeda sama-gandingan
Kita djalani ini djalan
Ria bahagia
Tak atjuh apa-apa
Gembira-girang
Biar hudjan datang
Kita mandi-basahkan diri
Tahu pasti sebentar kering lagi.
1943.02
[Invitation]
Ida,
The sun has pushed through
The air that's thick with fog,
The mouldy black mirror
Has cracked and blown away.
In this great open chamber
Let's ride side by side
Let's take this road
Gay and happy
Not caring about anything
Excited and pleased.
Let it rain
We'll get ourselves soaked
Knowing how soon we'll be dry again.
.Burton Raffel, ed. & trans., The Complete Poetry and Prose of Chairil Anwar, Albany : State University of New York Press, 1970, pp. 10.
[單獨]
活著平添寂寞、平添空虛
尤其是夜
他悚然尖叫
被寂靜窒息在斗室裡
他真恨。全都怪自己
為了求女人相伴
危機四伏。入夜持續進逼
焦慮的等待中他喚著一個名字
驚惶的他頹然坐下。到底呼喚著誰?
啊!他虛弱無力地哽咽著:媽呀!媽呀!
[Sendiri]
Hidupnja tambah sepi, tambah hampa
Malam apa lagi
Ia memekik ngeri
Ditjekik kesunjian kamarnja
Ia membentji. Dirinja dari segala
Jang minta perempuan untuk kawannja
Bahaja dari tiap sudut. Mendekat djuga
Dalam ketakutan-menanti ia menjebut satu nama
Terkedjut ia terduduk. Siapa memanggil itu?
Ah! Lemah lesu ia tersedu: Ibu! Ibu!
[Alone]
His life becomes lonelier, emptier
Especially at night
He screams with fear
Choked by the silence in his room
He is full of hate. And mostly for himself
For chasing skirts
The danger comes from every corner. It comes closer.
In the terror of waiting he calls out a single name
Startled, he slumps down. Who said that?
Ah! Feebly, wearily, he sobs: Momma! Momma!
1943.02
.Burton Raffel, ed. & trans., The Complete Poetry and Prose of Chairil Anwar, Albany : State University of New York Press, 1970, pp. 15.