台灣詩學‧吹鼓吹詩論壇

唱 反 調 的 雪
非馬



小 孩 的 心 溫 熱
雪 冷 冰 冰
小 孩 的 臉 通 紅
雪 白 茫 茫
小 孩 的 笑 聲 響 亮
雪 靜 悄 悄
小 孩 的 腳 愛 冒 險
雪 卻 把 地 面 鋪 平
讓 清 清 楚 楚 的 腳 印
永 遠 逃 不 出
屋 裡 的 小 母 親
頻 頻 抬 起 的 眼 角





The Dissenting Snow
by William Marr



The children's hearts are warm
the snow ice-cold
The children's faces are red
the snow white
The children's laughter is loud
the snow silent
The children's feet are restless and adventurous
the snow always smoothes out the ground
so their clear footprints
can never stray far
from the corners
of their mothers' watchful eyes

The poet creates an image, a visual setting, and then adds a twist at the end that pulls the reader into the poem emotionally and personally. We are concerned for the children playing out in the snow, and rather than being a cold and silent death, the snow becomes a friend, saving the children by allowing the mother to track them. The tie-in to the white of the corner of the mother’s eye is especially pleasing.

Think about below verse
"the snow always smooths out the ground"
the word "smoothes" without an "e".

Thank you for posting this mini poem!

Have a great summer!

若爾。諾爾 寫:The poet creates an image, a visual setting, and then adds a twist at the end that pulls the reader into the poem emotionally and personally. We are concerned for the children playing out in the snow, and rather than being a cold and silent death, the snow becomes a friend, saving the children by allowing the mother to track them. The tie-in to the white of the corner of the mother’s eye is especially pleasing.

Think about below verse
"the snow always smooths out the ground"
the word "smoothes" without an "e".

Thank you for posting this mini poem!

Have a great summer!

Thank you, 若爾。諾爾, for your nice comments. I especially appreciate your sharp eyes spotting my typos. Yes, it should be "smooths", not "smoothes".