【每月雙語一詩】（2015.5）: 兒子的鸚鵡

[marrfei]

【每月雙語一詩】（2015.5）: 兒子的鸚鵡
[Poem of the Month](2015.5) : MY SON'S PARROT

兒子的鸚鵡


沒有理由
要扼殺一隻
羽毛艷麗
且會牙牙學語的
鸚鵡

像一個自覺有腋臭的人
緊緊斂著翅膀
蹲在
遼闊空間的一角
沉默地看著
我，那隻

被我失手扼殺的鸚鵡

MY SON'S PARROT

there's no reason to kill
a dazzling-feathered
talking parrot

like a person conscious of his underarm odor
it crouches with folded wings
at the corner of a vast space
staring silently at me

my son's parrot
that I accidentally killed
with my own hands

[若爾。諾爾]

My Son's Parrot flows well with a rich context. The only thing I would do differently is to change all the verbs to past tense so that it will be consistent with the second last line "killed" (past tense).

there was no reason to kill
.
.
.
it crouched with folded wings
in the corner of a vast space
staring silently at me

What do you think, Dr. Marr?

p.s. I apologize for not responding to this poem for such a long time.
There isn't any good excuse. I do not know how to put it adequately. I was simply overwhelmed in 2015...

【每月雙語一詩】（2015.5）: 兒子的鸚鵡
[Poem of the Month](2015.5) : MY SON'S PARROT

兒子的鸚鵡


沒有理由
要扼殺一隻
羽毛艷麗
且會牙牙學語的
鸚鵡

像一個自覺有腋臭的人
緊緊斂著翅膀
蹲在
遼闊空間的一角
沉默地看著
我，那隻

被我失手扼殺的鸚鵡

MY SON'S PARROT

there's no reason to kill
a dazzling-feathered
talking parrot

like a person conscious of his underarm odor
it crouches with folded wings
at the corner of a vast space
staring silently at me

my son's parrot
that I accidentally killed
with my own hands

[marrfei]

諾爾好！是好久沒聯繫了，妳一向很忙吧。謝謝妳的好建議。其實後來在一個詩人工作坊上也有人指出時式的不調和，我把它們改正了，卻忘了到網上改動。謝謝妳指出來。

[若爾。諾爾]

謝謝非馬老師回言。很開心老師常來這裡探訪。

老師的短詩一向來精悍、有力，晚輩在雞蛋裡挑骨頭真有點慚愧啊！還得請老師多原諒。

生活是不斷的衝刺，到國外工作時一去就是一年半載，因此無法兼顧版面。但對詩仍然熱愛，尤其對雙語詩更是希望能夠多激發更多人來參與。

盼老師繼續來這裡貼好詩，有時回貼不夠周全，也請老師多指點！