紅流(Red Flood)

[羅拔]

"Red Flood" by Rob Chen, Translated by Rob Chen
〈紅流〉羅拔／羅拔翻譯

－－悼離世的祖父母

他倆僅是輕輕告別了陽台　
如蜻蜓　點向記憶的湖泊　
圈出漩渦

她藉目擊者電話裡顫抖的聲音道別　
我啞然地摸索她墜落時的表情　
墜落後的姿態
失去恐懼或哭的能力　

他憑著頑強的信念　延長自己的生命線
握過槍　握過勳章　
黃埔軍校十三期畢業的上校
多次在炮火中制止死神咆哮　微笑著回家
卻終跟著她的步伐
猝
然
降
落
碎成一地的鰥守孤獨

（是夜天邊高掛的鐮刀是死神勝利的旗幟）

薛西弗斯推著石頭　石頭自山頂滾落
薛西弗斯推著石頭　石頭自山頂滾落

兩條河緩緩流過我的夢
交會處　一磐石佇立著
緘默著　懺悔著　點滴著
紅色的淚



--In memory of my departed grandparents

They just departed gently from the balcony,
as dragonflies skimmed the sea of memory,
circling a whirlpool.

She bid us farewell through the shivering voice of a stranger.
I dumbly groped her look while she was falling,
and her appearance after the fall.
And I lost my ability of cry and fear.

By his strong faith he had prolonged his lifeline.
Metals and guns in hands,
He was a colonel graduated from the reonwed Whampoa Military Academy.
For so many times he prevented the Death from roaring, and smiled home,
but in the end he followed her way
F
A
L
L
I
N
G
into pieces of a widower's loneliness.

(The reaping-hook hanging high in the sky that night was the flag of victory from the Death)

Sisyphus pushed the rock atop, and the rock rolled down.
Sisyphus pushed the rock atop, and the rock rolled down.

Two streams slowly flew across my dream.
At its confluence, a rock stood
in silence, repenting and dripping
tears in red.

[Lake]

Hello Rob,

I think there are a couple of typos that need to be corrected: "metals", "reonwed".

In line 5 and 6, "look" and "appearance" are used. I wonder if they are about the same thing?

I would use "sickle" for "reaping-hook" just because it is one word and shorter.

By the way, what's the significance of the reference "Sisyphus story" in this poem?

On the whole, it is readable.

Thanks for sharing. You are a diligent writer.

Lake

[羅拔]

Dear Lake:
Thanks for your comment and correction! While writing this poem, I happened to think of the image of "rock" therefore borrowed Sisyphus' story to show the repeating, unstoppable tragedies of my grandparents. And the newly revised version of this poem is below: 　

"Red Flood" by Rob Chen, Translated by Rob Chen
〈紅流〉羅拔／羅拔翻譯

－－悼離世的祖父母

他倆僅是輕輕告別了陽台　
如蜻蜓　點向記憶的湖泊　
圈出漩渦

她藉目擊者電話裡顫抖的聲音道別　
我啞然地摸索她墜落時的表情　
墜落後的姿態
失去恐懼或哭的能力　

他憑著頑強的信念　延長自己的生命線
握過槍　握過勳章　
黃埔軍校十三期畢業的上校
多次在炮火中制止死神咆哮　微笑著回家
卻終跟著她的步伐
猝
然
降
落
（敲響黑暗中冷漠的大理石桌）
碎成一地的鰥守孤獨

是夜天邊高掛的鐮刀是死神勝利的旗幟

薛西弗斯推著石頭　石頭自山頂滾落
薛西弗斯推著石頭　石頭自山頂滾落

兩條河緩緩流過我的夢
交會處　一磐石佇立著
緘默著　懺悔著　點滴著
紅色的淚



--In memory of my departed grandparents

They just departed gently from the balcony,
as dragonflies skimmed the sea of memory,
circling a whirlpool.

She bid us farewell through the shivering voice of a stranger.
I dumbly groped her look while she was falling,
and her lying after the fall.
And I lost my ability of cry and fear.

By his strong faith he had prolonged his lifeline.
Medals and guns in hands,
He was a colonel graduated from the renowned Whampoa Military Academy.
For so many times he prevented the Death from roaring, and smiled home,
but in the end he followed her way
F
A
L
L
I
N
G
(Striking the cold marble table in the dark)
into pieces of a widower's loneliness.

The sickle hanging high in the sky that night was the flag of victory from the Death

Sisyphus pushed the rock atop, and the rock rolled down.
Sisyphus pushed the rock atop, and the rock rolled down.

Two streams slowly flew across my dream.
At its confluence, a rock stood
in silence, repenting and dripping
tears in red.

[余學林]

They just departed gently from the balcony,
as dragonflies skimmed the sea of memory,
circling a whirlpool.

這邊翻得好。不直譯是正確的。





She bid us farewell through the shivering voice of a stranger.
I dumbly groped her look while she was falling,
and her lying after the fall.
And I lost my ability of cry and fear.

By his strong faith he had prolonged his lifeline.
Medals and guns in hands,
He was a colonel graduated from the renowned Whampoa Military Academy.
For so many times he prevented the Death from roaring, and smiled home,
but in the end he followed her way

這邊也翻得很自然。




She bid us farewell through the shivering voice of a stranger.
I dumbly groped her look while she was falling,
and her lying after the fall.
And I lost my ability of cry and fear.

By his strong faith he had prolonged his lifeline.
Medals and guns in hands,
He was a colonel graduated from the renowned Whampoa Military Academy.
For so many times he prevented the Death from roaring, and smiled home,
but in the end he followed her way

grope一字我想改，但還沒想到好的替補。
cry當名詞好像怪怪的，所以那句就改成to cry or fear吧
strong一字太簡單了。可以考慮tenacious或其它字眼。
renowned就不需要了吧？

黃埔軍校十三期畢業的上校
如果可以翻出來更好。但我還沒想到怎麼翻。一起想想。


學林

[羅拔]

學林兄您好：
　　感謝您的建議，全詩修改如下，請不吝指教：

"Red Flood" by Rob Chen, Translated by Rob Chen
〈紅流〉羅拔／羅拔翻譯

－－悼離世的祖父母

他倆僅是輕輕告別了陽台　
如蜻蜓　點向記憶的湖泊　
圈出漩渦

她藉目擊者電話裡顫抖的聲音道別　
我啞然地摸索她墜落時的表情　
墜落後的姿態
失去恐懼或哭的能力　

他憑著頑強的信念　延長自己的生命線
握過槍　握過勳章　
黃埔軍校十三期畢業的上校
多次在炮火中制止死神咆哮　微笑著回家
卻終跟著她的步伐
猝
然
降
落
碎成一地的鰥守孤獨

（是夜天邊高掛的鐮刀是死神勝利的旗幟）

薛西弗斯推著石頭　石頭自山頂滾落
薛西弗斯推著石頭　石頭自山頂滾落

兩條河緩緩流過我的夢
交會處　一磐石佇立著
緘默著　懺悔著　點滴著
紅色的淚



--In memory of my departed grandparents

They just departed gently from the balcony,
as dragonflies skimmed the sea of memory,
circling a whirlpool.

She bid us farewell through the shivering voice of a stranger.
I dumbly depicted her look when falling,
her appearance after the fall,
and lost my ability to cry and fear.

By a tenacious faith he had prolonged his lifeline.
Metals and guns in hands,
a colonel he was, from the 13th session graduate of Whampoa Military Academy.
For so many times he prevented the Death from roaring, and smiled home,
but in the end he followed her way
F
A
L
L
I
N
G
into pieces of a widower's loneliness.

(The reaping-hook hanging high in the sky that night was the flag of victory from the Death)

Sisyphus pushed the rock atop, and the rock rolled down.
Sisyphus pushed the rock atop, and the rock rolled down.

Two streams slowly flew across my dream.
At its confluence, a rock stood
in silence, repenting and dripping
tears in red.