鑰匙(The Key)

[蘇善]

〈鑰匙〉蘇善作／蘇善翻譯
“The Key” (Written/Translated by Suzanne Tsai)

我掉了鑰匙
當下他們把樹砍死
樹喪生
有個娃兒誕生
我的鑰匙才找著
地就搖
大山挪了腳
小河沒處繞
衝出我的眼睛
一邊冷
一邊燒

I lost my key
while they cut the tree.
When the tree died,
someone gave birth to a baby.
My key was found
as soon as the earth quaked.
A mountain moved the feet.
The little river had no place for turn
but rushed out of my eyes.
An eye chilled.
An eye did burn.

[若爾。諾爾]

我的鑰匙才找著

問：是“My key was found” 還是“My key has found” ?

正如其他抒寫，動詞方面要統一式。

“no place to turn”
最後兩句英譯文可多斟酌。

諾爾問好蘇善詩友，共勉之！

[不清]

補充一下
Was found 跟 has found 是兩個不同的概念呀
Was found 是被找到
Has found 是已經找到
前者是被動式，後者是現在完成式。
前想清楚詩要表達什麼再譯吧。

我的鑰匙才找著

問：是“My key was found” 還是“My key has found” ?

正如其他抒寫，動詞方面要統一式。

“no place to turn”
最後兩句英譯文可多斟酌。

諾爾問好蘇善詩友，共勉之！

[詹倪]

我的鑰匙才找著

問：是“My key was found” 還是“My key has found” ?

補充一下
Was found 跟 has found 是兩個不同的概念呀
Was found 是被找到
Has found 是已經找到
前者是被動式，後者是現在完成式。
前想清楚詩要表達什麼再譯吧。

我的鑰匙才找著=（我）才找著（ㄓㄠˊ）我的鑰匙=Just when I found my key.

不是was found 也不是has found.

“no place to turn”

to turn

or

for turning

turn用名詞怪彆扭的...

[不清]

我的鑰匙才找著=（我）才找著（ㄓㄠˊ）我的鑰匙=Just when I found my key.

是的嗎？
老實說，蘇詩人的漢語運用很有自已的性格。這是一件好事，這樣才能把漢語的潛能推出來。

我的鑰匙才找著

問：是“My key was found” 還是“My key has found” ?

補充一下
Was found 跟 has found 是兩個不同的概念呀
Was found 是被找到
Has found 是已經找到
前者是被動式，後者是現在完成式。
前想清楚詩要表達什麼再譯吧。

我的鑰匙才找著=（我）才找著（ㄓㄠˊ）我的鑰匙=Just when I found my key.

不是was found 也不是has found.

“no place to turn”

to turn

or

for turning

turn用名詞怪彆扭的...

[蘇善]

感謝讀詩。